When Will I Learn?

I’m was getting ready for work this morning, and at 7:45 the phone rang.

It’s Tiamat.

As Husbandji had already left for the day, I didn’t answer it.

She wanted to talk to him, not me, so why bother answering it?

Five minutes later the phone rang again. It was her again.

I didn’t answer it.

This happened three more times over the course of twenty minutes.

I finally answered the phone and regretted it the minute that I did.

Tiamat: Husbandji!

TigerYogiji: (Sigh.) No Tiamat, it’s TigerYogiji.

Tiamat: Oh. Is Husbandji there?

TY: No, he left for work over half an hour ago.

Tiamat: Oh. Well, he’s not answering his cellphone so I thought that he was home.

TY: Well he’s not. He’s at work.

Tiamat: Why isn’t he answering his cellphone?

TY: How the fuck should I know?!!! Well, he probably left it at his desk and isn’t there right now.

Tiamat: Oh. Can I ask you a question?

TY: (sigh.) Sure.

Tiamat: How much is a postage stamp?

TY: 42 cents.

Tiamat: Okay, bye.

TY: Bye.

When will I learn, my Minions? When will I learn…



  1. Eric Lee said,

    September 4, 2008 at 12:00 pm

    I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

  2. September 4, 2008 at 12:38 pm


    I would love to see her on a survival reality show. Because that’s comedy gold.

  3. Patti said,

    September 4, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    If I could, i’d be your professional liasion with Tiamat because she is just freaking HILARIOUS.

  4. Lemuel said,

    September 4, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Certain questions do assume urgency, don’t you know? LOL!

  5. AZ said,

    September 4, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    When we first moved to Nestlewood, with Chris’ mother and all of the kin folks that come with her, I told my aunt how uncertain I was about being in such close proximity with my mother in law. She said “Oh, sugar, she’ll die one day!”

  6. urspo said,

    September 4, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    i didn’t know that either, so i am glad nevertheless.

  7. Sim said,

    September 5, 2008 at 1:25 am

    Oh Tiger – I feel your MIL pain. I really really do as the stamp is prbably only the tip of the ice-berg. Mine has only booked herself to come down to stay with us three weeks after babys due date, and doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that she can not and will not stay with us…

    I can’t wait to compare notes with you for MIL’s at birthday parties…

  8. indigo said,

    September 5, 2008 at 6:22 am

    So… what you’re saying essentially is that she was going to call every five minutes until Husbandji came home from work! She must have the patience of the damned/ Egads!

  9. Greg said,

    September 5, 2008 at 7:57 am

    The Patient People know to leave a voicemail and wait for a reply. Tiamat sounds anything but patient…just well-skilled with that Redial button. Poor TigerYogiji

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