My Mother, The Archbishop

My mother related a short story to me over the weekend that I found hilarious. Let me set the story up.

My mother is the “Guild Mistress” for the Altar Guild at her local church (Episcopal).

The Altar Guild’s duties consist of cleaning the altar linens,  the maintenance of the various “accoutrements” involved with the service (i.e. the chalice, the Host plate, etc…) and setting everything up before each service.

One of their other duties involves making sure that the minister has “consecrated” enough extra communion wafers to keep on hand for the lay ministers, who use them to serve communion when they visit the shut-ins of the parish.

 About a week ago, my mother received a phone call from one of the lay ministers, saying that he was at the church but that he couldn’t find any consecrated wafers! And to make matters worse, the resident minister was away on a two-week vacation! What should he do?!!

My mother matter-of-factly said to him; “Oh, just make the Sign of the Cross over the wafers and you should be all set!”

And THAT’S how you run an Altar Guild!! 🙂



  1. the hobbit said,

    March 8, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Fellations 3:16 “And lo, the branch falleth not far from the tree.”

  2. Urspo said,

    March 8, 2010 at 11:49 pm

    sensible woman!

  3. Lemuel said,

    March 9, 2010 at 7:00 am

    Hundreds of high church clerics are now frozen in horror while the rest of us are rolling in laughter.
    Although I myself have high church tendencies, I am often struck by the attitude of some of my peers who approach the whole thing as if the right “magic words” have to be said by the right person or it won’t be valid. I fear that they are not familiar with either history or the book, and I am reminded that we have still not journeyed far beyond a “hocus pocus” understanding of “hoc est corpus meum”.

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